Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved a tall.
—Brian Rhoades, 6’10”This weekend I attended two memorial services. One for a beloved coach gone too soon at only age 54. The other for a beloved patriarch of our church and town, passing slowly a week before his 91st birthday. In both services, these things resonated with me: community, legacy, and faith.
Brian Rhoades was a pillar of the school community at the Episcopal School of Acadiana. All three of my daughters received the caring encouragement of Coach Rhoades. Our girls were with us Friday night along with many hundreds who weathered the heat of the gym to share, remember, and cry together. Since our last graduated in 2008, we have kept some ties to the school. As sad as we all were to lose a friend, we were comforted by the closeness and love of the community there.
On Saturday, our church community came together to honor George King Pratt Munson. What a great name for such a wonderful man! We sang together and listened to the long history of Pratt’s life in New Iberia. Then we celebrated with a feast and conversation in the parish hall. Pratt’s ashes were the first to be placed in the columbarium outside in the courtyard. I love knowing that a part of him remains with us.
Both Coach Rhoades and Mr. Pratt leave behind a legacy, not only in their children and grandchildren, but in the kind of people they were. I heard words like kind, compassionate, gentle, funny, always smiling, honest, genuine, mentor, and friend. If any of us could embody half of these words, we would be grateful. When we were leaving the memorial at ESA, my husband said, “I think someone should have said, ‘Be Brian Rhoades.'” You could say that about Pratt, too. The legacy of being the best that you can be.
Just last week, our new bishop, Jake Owensby, spoke to us about faith. He said faith is plunging in to God’s grace. I love the word plunge. And plunging I did when I held Brian’s wife and Pratt’s granddaughter. What can you say? What words are there to comfort the grieving? None, really, except love. I offered love with all my being. I have faith that they are both with God now, shining like the rainbow, offering us each hope in God’s eternal grace.
Better to Have Loved
September 4, 2012 by margaretsmn
Wonderful comments about a loved one who has passed are a great comfort. When my dad passed away in January, that was one thing that really stayed with me. You said that you didn’t know what to say to the family, but obviously you did know what to say.
I think your words are an additional tribute to these two men, and hope you’ll share this with their families. It will mean a lot in the lonely days ahead. Reflection on a life well lived is something good for us I think, makes us humble, but also gives us a part of the path we want to lead. Thanks Margaret.
May you find grace in all your plunges of faith. I love that expression, and I love how you see the legacy created by these two men.
This is a beautiful tribute!!
Beautiful! I will have to remember the phrase “faith is plunging into God’s grace.” Your community is blessed to have you part of it!
“I love knowing that a part of him remains with us.” I am glad you wrote that. That line acknowledges something that is so true when a loved one dies. It is a comfort to have a part that remains- something actual, physical as well as the intangible love and memories.