I’ve been in a funk for the last few days, and I’m not sure why.
It could be that the temperatures are warmer, so it’s time to turn on the A/C and close the windows.
Maybe it was the book I was reading. All the Bright Places drew me in. I was reading anytime I had a few moments to grab. I was taken in by Finch and Violet and then… Well I won’t spoil it, but let’s just say the end could put one in a funk.
The weeds were bugging me, so on Saturday, I got after them. Weeding, mulching, making my front yard look nice. The funk was still there.
This is not the kind of funk that makes me cry. Actually, on the outside I’ve been keeping a pretty cheery disposition. Until Sunday. My choir director and friend said, “You must be happy that school is almost out.”
No. Not at all. Then I ranted about all the things I hate about the end of the school year. But the biggest, glaring thing for me was I will miss my kids. Some of my students will return to me next year. Some will not. These last few weeks are full of activities that draw my students away from my class. This is the time of year I become well aware that I am not a regular teacher. Between field trips and reward activities, game days, splash days, award days, I fall to the bottom of the totem pole. And I’m in a funk about it. There is nothing to be done, so I need to just let it go and enjoy the time we do have with each other.
This weekend a former student got in touch with me through Facebook. She messaged me, and we started a conversation about what we were both doing now. She’s a wife, mother, a personal chef and fitness instructor. She wrote, “I know this is gushy but you were such a strong part of my childhood because I was so close to the school and church and you were such a strong, caring teacher. I have told my children about you on numerous occasions. If you ever wonder how you have touched the lives of your students– you give such warmth and caring and belief. I am so glad God called you to teach and that you were part of my life! And I am so grateful that I can tell you that now.” Tears. Heartbeat. Breathe. Funk lifted.