One of my Poetry Friday poet heroes is Laura Purdie Salas. She is the author of Bookspeak and Water Can Be, both of which I recommend for any classroom. She recently published an e-book What’s Inside: Poems to Explore the Park It’s a great resource for teaching young poets.
There was a solar eclipse happening on Thursday. I decided to combine teaching about this phenomenon with a new poem form, “What’s Inside?” We read a few model Laura Purdie Salas poems and discussed the elements in her poems, rhyme, rhythm, along with factual information. I am posting some student poems and my own. To make comments to the students, click on their name.
What’s inside a solar eclipse?
A moon hatching out of its cocoon
“Now is my time to rule the day”
The sun is secret
Hidden away
Coming back soon
“Once again I will rule over moon”
–-Kielan
Above the cosmos,
The moon still glows.
Blocking the light,
It’s a time of fright.
In the position of the sun,
It’s no fun.
When it goes away,
No more for today.
Like a Clash of Clans war,
It’s done for.
–Nigel
Tobie wrote his poem in three voices: the solar eclipse, the sun, and the moon. (I love how he marked each one.)
The sun will be covered by the moon. <———————Solar Eclipse
I just wish it would come again soon.What's inside this ball of fire? <————————Sun
It's like life, ton of desire.What's inside this big rock? <—————-Moon
Too bad, there's only one in stock.
–Tobie</blockquote>Mrs. Simon tries rhyme once again. I was pleased by the unexpected rhyme of sun and phenomenon.
What’s Inside a Solar Eclipse?
Make a pinprick hole in a paper plate.
Sunset horizon, stop and wait.
A new moon crosses the path of the sun,
eclipsing our vision,
a sky-born phenomenon.
–Margaret Simon
It’s a wonderful idea Margaret, and Laura, and I guess it worked perfectly with the eclipse too. All nice, and all different. I love seeing each poet put his or her special quality on the poem.
These are fabulous! I love how each writer played with the form. Here are my favorite lines (I’m leery of commenting directly to students because of COPPA laws, which I’m not well-versed in):
Kielan: A moon hatching out of its cocoon — brilliant image!
Nigel: Like a Clash of Clans war — I love a comparison that tells me something about the poet, which this one does:>)
Tobie: ton of desire — an awesome description of the sun, which is super heavy and also calls to mind the phrase “burning with desire”
Mrs: Simon: eclipsing our vision — love the wordplay!
Thank you for sharing!
The moon hatching out of a cocoon, the Clash of Clans and only one in stock…such images. And the pin pricking of a paper plate to make your own solar vision. What a fun event.
I have to echo previous comments — all the poets brought a personal flair to these! I like the drama.
These are so much fun!
I wish we would have lived further east — we lost the sun in the trees and the clouds at the horizon before we got to see much eclipse!